One and Two and Three

Disclaimer- oh honestly, if you're reading this, it means you're at adult-fanfiction.org and that you've probably read the other chapters which means you know what i'm going to say. i don't own shit. now leave me alone so i can continue to write angsty almost-smut.

AN: like the chapter before, i feel something about this chapter is a bit artificial. something about One and Keyes' exchange isn't quite swingin' for me. go ahead and review if you figure it out and I'll edit as is necessary.

Keyes stretched, moaning lightly and opened one eye looking around. She was in One's room again, but this time he was there with her. Sitting in a chair by the bed, fiddling with the empty magazine from his upper drawer. She moaned again when she saw him, louder this time and rolled over.
"What are you doing here?" he looked down at her and leaned back in the chair.
"We could ask the same of you. Do you even realize that we'll have to get the entire place fumigated after all this?" she covered her face with a pillow for a moment and popped her head out over it.
"So what? It's not like the two of you have to save and scrape every penny."
"Oh no? You must be daft."
"Hardly. The way I see it, you don't actually have anything to spend money on, so it just goes into a bank somewhere, building up and up and up." One snorted a strange gesture on his usually blank face.
"Then you would make a horrible mercenary." She grinned and rolled over, lying on her back with her head dangling off the bed.
"I don't pretend otherwise."
"Maybe you should start." Keyes thought for a moment then tilted her head.
"So… what exactly happened? I mean, what happened to the Merovingian and you shooting us?" He set down the magazine and looked down at her.
"You passed out." She raised an eyebrow and rolled back over. "Apparently four days of non-stop sleeping isn't enough for you."
"Well it wasn't non-stop." She seemed like she was about to grin but something occurred to her and she sat up angrily. "You really are a prick." His expression didn't change but fore a slight change in his brow which radiated confusion. "Before, when you were trying to make me angry. You said…" she frowned and crossed her arms. "You lied about Mazon." Realization came over his feature and he smirked.
"Still dwelling on that are you? You really should develop a sense of humor."
"Sense of humor?" she nearly choked on the words. "My sense of humor is as good as the next person's. There just happens to be nothing funny about you saying that my friend is dead by multiple gross elevator things!" One stood then
"Then your wrong. And should reevaluate your priorities."
"To what? Something a little more akin to yours?"
"You should also grow up." Keyes shook her head in disbelief and sat back.
"Okay, since we seem to be naming everything wrong with me, why don't you just say it? Go ahead and list every flaw and imperfection? Go ahead!" One studied her for a moment and sat back down.
"Very well" he thought for a moment before beginning. "Your loud, obnoxious, selfish, childish, inconspicuous, dangerous, reckless, presumptuous, you're very difficult to pin down, once we feel we understand how you work, you throw a proverbial wrench in the gears and befuddle us. You're fickle, unimaginative and carry too many guns." He stopped and there was a deafening silence. Risking a glance over, One saw Keyes deep in thought. He considered slipping out, but she began talking before he had the chance.
"Fine. So I'm basically a big child. Is that what you’re saying?" At his nod she continued. "Maybe I'm inconspicuous and dangerous and carry too many guns, and maybe I seem like an immature nuisance to you, and maybe I'm slippery and stupid. But… " she bit her lip and looked up at him, pleading hidden in clouded eyes. "But does any of that really matter?" One nearly asked her what she meant, but Keyes turned her head from him, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on them. "Does it really matter what's wrong with me?" she asked in a muffled voice.
"What?" she turned her head, resting the side of it on her knees and blinked at One a couple of times.
"I guess it kinda does, I seem to be kinda focal what with the kidnapping and all, don’t I?” she said mostly to herself, “Do you realize how rarely anything revolves around me? It's always about Mazon or Neo or Trinity or… or anyone but me. I'm just… I'm just sidekick material. I can't handle things about me. I don't do these things. I can't be that center of attention. I'm no good at any of this. And don't you think for a second that Mazon doesn't know it. She's probably already bitter enough that this isn't about her or her dad." One looked at her for a second before sighing.
"Well it's not exactly easy always doing everything in twos. So in a roundabout sort of way, We do know what you mean."
"Do you?" One didn't respond so Keyes went on. "She's probably sitting out there thinking about the hundreds of ways she would've handled this so it would've turned out better. Neo's probably laughing his ass off at my… inexperience in this shit…" Keyes sighed and buried her face in her knees. One stood and sat back down on the edge of the bed.
"What exactly is all 'this'?" she looked up at him and shrugged.
"Fuck if I know. I don't know why this is all about me, or why it isn't over already, or why I'm talking to you about any of it."
"Ah, well your talking to us because we're here to listen. It isn't over because there's still things to do. And it's all about you…" she was looking up at him hopefully, as if his answer would solve the great mystery of life, the universe and everything. "It's all about you, because if it were all about Mazon then it would be over by now." he grinned down at her and she smiled weakly, then unfolded her legs, sitting up.
"Thanks. … And, for the record… I'm not always a big child." He nodded and looked over at her.
"We believe you." One fully planned to stand up at this point and vacate the room, but at that moment Keyes looked up at him from her spot next to him on the bed. Something in her gaze caught his attention and they sat there staring at each other, slowly closing the gap in between them. They were nearly at dangerous-do-something-or-back-the-fuck-off closeness when Keyes blinked and pulled back. They turned away from each other awkwardly.
"Sorry" Keyes muttered and One nodded, though she didn't see him. standing he exited quickly, closing the door just a little to hard behind him. Keyes jumped a little and looked from the door to the spot he'd just left next to her and realization came over her. "Wait, why am I sorry?"

When Keyes exited her room shortly after, she found Mazon and the Twins sitting at the bar by the kitchen. She and Two were engaged in a game of chess and One was counting a large wad of money. Keyes walked over and sat on the last stool, propping her chin up on her elbows, watching One count the money. There must've been a couple of million by the size of it. All five hundreds. She sniffed a little, hoping to attract someone's attention long enough to have what ever the hell was going on explained to her. This was, of course, a complete failure; she frowned and looked over at Mazon and Twos' game of chess. It was pretty evenly matched. Two having had lots of practice while taking care of Keyes and Mazon having beaten Keyes at it plenty of times on board the Nebuchadnezzar. Keyes sat there for a moment longer before finally deciding to start some type of conversation. She turned to One, letting him count out a few more bills before speaking up.
"Nice wad" and mentally smacked herself. ~Great, nice wad. Now you’re a brain dead human instead of a stupid one! ~ He looked up at her for a second then back down at the money.
"You should hope so."
"We've lost our jobs for this" Two said from their game. Mazon shook her head and moved a rook.
"It's worth it" Keyes looked at each of them for a long moment
"Wait, so you are working for us now?" no one answered but a huge grin spread over Keyes face and she smacked her palm on the bar top. "Shazam!" Mazon grinned up at her then looked back, frowning as Two took her queen. Relaxing visibly, Keyes folded her fingers together and sat there for a moment longer. "So… what now?"
"That" One said, "is up to you." Keyes nodded and thought for a moment.
"Okay, well Mazon, did Morpheus and your parents get the KeyMaker yet?" Mazon closed her eyes for a moment
"Yeah, they and two other captains are talking battle plans."
"Groovy. So… I guess that means there's nothing left for us to really do?"
"Oh I wouldn't go that far. Though I do suggest we explain to them a little more about the freeing process."
"You don't need to explain anything" Two said clicking pieced around. "As our employers you only need to describe a basic minimum." Keyes nodded
"And besides, we don't really know if it works or not." They all sat there for another moment or so before Mazon spoke up again
"Speaking of freeing, we should get you back to the Neb pretty soon Keyes." Keyes sighed, watching One finish the last of the money, straighten its stack and share a look with Two.
"Okay…bet everyone was really pissed." Mazon scoffed, setting up a check
"You have no idea." Two countered it and put her in checkmate. She stared at the board for a second as he leaned back grinning a little. Shaking her head, Mazon stood and turned to Keyes who was still watching One, clearing her throat at her friend, Mazon walked towards the door. Keyes jumped a little and looked at Mazon for a moment then nodded, also standing. As if on cue, the Twins stood and followed them to the door. Mazon looked over at them for a second.
"You guys don't have to come. We're just gonna be a couple of hours anyway. " They looked at each other for a second before Keyes spoke up.
"Ah let 'em come if they want to. What good would they be if they just sat around here all the time?" Mazon shrugged and turned transparent.
"What ever, you’re the one that hired them anyhow." One laid a hand on Keyes shoulders and the four of them passed through the still inoperable door, solidifying on the other side. As they headed for the elevator down, Mazon pulled out a cell and dialed Linc.
"Operator"
"Hey Linc, gimme an exit, I got Keyes."
"Hot damn." A pause "Ladies room, lobby of City Apartments."
"Good. We'll be out in a minute."
"Fine. And Mazon?"
"Yeah?"
"Trinity's gonna kill you." she sighed.
"Why am I not surprised?" and she hung up as they all stepped into the elevator. "We're in luck Keyes. Little Girls room bottom floor." She nodded, her head was tilted slightly down and she seemed in deep thought. They were passing the fifth floor when the elevator shuddered. Keyes looked up and around at the Twins, Two was hitting the Lobby button without luck and One had drawn his gun. Keyes looked at it with a raised brow, then over at Mazon who had also drawn her gun.
"Are you sure that is absolutely necessary?" there was a thump above and she drew two guns out of her total four. " Guess so, who is it Maz?"
"Smith" Mazon said, Two now had his own gun out and all four were pointing up in some direction. Keyes changed her mind about her current choice of firearms, had put the slide actions back and was pulling out her shotgun when a couple of panels of the ceiling were torn off and three Smiths dropped down into the suddenly overcrowded elevator. They all had their guns out and there was an old fashioned stand off. The Twins and Mazon had each paired off with a Smith, leaving Keyes to look at each of them uncertainly.
"Ms. Vorhees I presume." One of the Smiths said without moving his gun from its shot at Two. Keyes bristled and swiveled her shotgun to aim at that one.
"Not any more."
"It's a passing phase Ms. Vorhees" said the one by Mazon.
"I doubt it" she said, mind racing. If the Twins could distract all three of the Smiths long enough for Mazon to zap the two of them out and down to the exit, the Twins could phase out and go back to the apartment. She glanced at the six others and sighed, slouching her shoulders. "This really sucks you guys."
"Sorry to hear you say that Ms. Vorhees. If you will be good enough to wait just a few more seconds, we will surely even out the odds."
"What, the three of you will just go away?"
"We're afraid it won't be quite that… simple Ms. Vorhees." Keyes was about to try to communicate her plan to the other three, the elevator dinged and the doors opened to the lobby. Keyes stared at it then back at the six. Mazon glanced over to her and mouthed 'Go', Keyes spun and darted towards the bathroom, hearing the phone ringing from where she was. She heard shots echo from the elevator, hitting the walls and floor outside it. She clenched her teeth and bashed into the bathroom, spinning around the wall and picking up the pay phone. She put it to her ear just in time to see a fourth Smith walk out of a stall. She cocked the shotgun with one hand and aimed it. as she felt herself be pulled into the phone, she squeezed the trigger right into Smith's gut.
"Even out this."