Painless

A/N:
GAH! I had forgotten my password and it took two days to get emailed to me. This was finished the other night. Warning ahead of time; it is short. I’ve been so busy and this was all I was able to get out in the amount of available time. Sorry.

On with the show…

_________________ _________________________

‘Grain of Salt’ –Poison the Well

Another day passes by.
Another attempt at love remains unrequited.
Why do I even bother?
I should have learned from the past.
I am but a statue, impervious to love.
This punctured heart is mine,
Becomes a handful of dust.
Dust. Hope has now wilted away,ltedlted. Along with these dreams
That became emptiness.
A final exit becomes clear, I am self-destructive.
A product of this solitude, I am riddled with shards.
One simple wish now dies.
Was my request so great?
One simple wish now dies.
Once again I drown in its denial.
Was it so complicated?
Once again. I've been spit upon.
Taken with a grain of salt, my life is.

~*~*~*~


I can see mouths moving, but I don’t know what is said.

Give it up, boy. You can’t have what you want, so why do you keep trying?

Because I can try.

Is that really good enough?

No, but it’s better than nothing. At least, I think it is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not sure when we left Tortuga. It had been easiest to just follow Jack around blindly, to just stay in the room if it wasn’t something I needed to do. We had wandered back to the ship one day and we didn’t go back into town.

I didn’t even notice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve stopped eating. It holds no comfort anymore. I can’t even taste anything. The vibrating that the hum causes makes my mouth almost numb. At best I can taste something metal. Not like blood though. It’s like chewing on the shavings left over at the smithy.

At least I can’t vomit anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What are you?

A man.

You’re a shell

If you have your own answer, why do you bother to ask?

To prove a point.

Let me know when that happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack lets the boy and the girl stay in the room with us. I don’t think he trusts the rest of the crew. Anna-Maria is a woman and she can take care of herself. I guess she’s strong and the girl isn’t. I don’t even know about the boy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

They have names.

Apparently, they don’t take to being referred to as ‘boy’ and ‘girl’. Jack knew before me. He never bothered to tell me.

The girl’s name is Genevieve. It sounds French, almost like a J. I wonder who gave her that name. The boy’s name is Alexander, I believe. I had lost interest at some point in the conversation, so I’m not positive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone is whispering in my ear. The combination of the light breath and soft hair tickling my skin is enough to cause me to stir.

The words only register as a light hiss, drowned out by the persistent humming, buzzing.

I look up to see Gena poking me, trying to get me out of bed. She’s looking much better now. Since she can get food when she needs it, she’s gained enough weight to look healthy.

Like a child. She looks like a child, curious and playful. I don’t know how anyone could let a creature like her fall into the hole she was in.

I think Alex believes he is her guardian. I’m not blind at the moment. I notice things. He watches over her like a mother bird watching an egg. Or is it a father bird? Maybe it depends on the species. I don’t really care.

I used to like eggs.

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, are we done here?

You can’t finish something you haven’t started.

You’ve done a fine job of starting things.

You don’t know when to shut up. That makes us even.

Not even close. There is a huge difference between the two.

You’re just saying that because you know you are wrong.

Wouldn’t that mean that you are wrong?

You are the one talking about ‘us’ and ‘we’.

And you are the one that started referring to me as a separate person.

Isn’t that the same thing?

No, it’s not. Nice try though.

Again, learn when to keep quite.

Why? It’s not like anyone else can hear me.

We both hear the buzzing. It’s buzzing now, different then what it used to be.

Like strangled screams, words lost in memories, crying found in dreams.

That’s one way to put it.

More than one

Nothing stays the same. One thing can mean the world.

I think you’re trying too hard.

I don’t think you’re listening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: School and work, school and work, school and work. Sorry for the wait. It’s always fun to sit at the gas station after work at one thirty in the morning waiting for the pumo woo work because you waited too long to refill your car with gas. Arg.

Also, I did not pick this song because it had the same title as the song in the last section. That was just dumb luck. I may just start using Poison the Well songs to start off each section. It all depends. I’m still back on the ‘Opposite of December’ album. I haven’t really listened to anything after that. I remember back when they didn’t have a MTV music video. Yeah. Babble babble babble.

Seraphina: Apparently I have a problem. It’s called Myupdatesaretooshortosis. I thought you should know. Anyway, I was doing just fine, not having anxiety attacks and the such, and writing those chapters just brought it back. Fortunately, it only happens for a little while before and after I wrote those sections. Now if I could only write longer ones.

Datiye: I didn’t realize how much I thrived on reviews until I only got a few and I was not motivated to write another section. Heh, I usually don’t need attention to do something. Oh well.


I’m tired and I’m going to sleep. It’s past four thirty in the morning now. So, I don’t thing there are going to be Jack POV full sections, though I may or may not through small LABLED paragraphs in some where with his POV. Yeah, labeled in capital letters means you will know it when you see it, if I do it.