Painless

A/N: Okay, this was something I just decided I had to write at three in the morning last night (that was so contradictory). If any of you have read my other story, I promise you it won’t be as pointless and stupid as that one. I was inspired by the fanfic “Scar Tissue” by Leviathan, which I will hopefully get to put on my suggested reading list if it would work. I blame the slowness of the stupid computer I’m working with. Anyway, I don’t think that they will ever actually read this story and I’m probably better off that way. I could never match their writing. You should go read it though. Yes you should.

One very important thing, don’t you dare expect a weak schoolgirl Will. There is a difference in the type of weak he is and the kind many make him out to be (in this story people, not in real life because, unfortunately he doesn’t really exist). Sorry I had to say that.

So, if you are upset by: Rape/nonconsensual sex, Two guys going at it like hamsters in the night, self-injury, bondage, and possibly others, this is not the story for you. You can go away now. The rest you can stay.

Reviews are welcome and very much appreciated. The chapters will most likely be typed quickly in the effort to get started on the next. Please point out any errors that need to be corrected. Just because I’m lazy doesn’t mean I won’t fix them so it doesn’t look like incoherent babble.

This chapter is from Wills pov. It changes from past to present tense because sometimes he is describing it and sometimes it's a memory. It should be be too confusing.
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Sometimes strength is a weakness that you can't overcome. We spend so much time building ourselves up for an inevitable attack, but we never once assume that all of our preparation will callous us so much that we will lose part of what makes us human. We become numb. We search for a release, just wanting to remember how to feel.
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When they found me, I was so close to death. I could feel the cold running through my body. I felt him cradle my head and whisper to me that I would be all right. I passed out around then, but not before hearing his words. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have found you sooner."

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My head hurts when I try to open my eyes. That irritates me. I can hear voices again. They sound so far away. It reminds me of when I was a boy sitting on the docks, waiting for gn ogn of father's ship. The noises from the market would ride through the breeze, volume dropping and rising at the changes of the wind's direction. When I became bored of waiting there, I would travel through the streets, making my way to the bustle that was the town's livelihood. The closer I got, the louder and clearer the noise would become. When I would reach the market, the noises became distinct. That's what happened now. I was pulled closer into the world outside of my m unt until the voices became clear and I was aware of the people in the space around me. My eyes still won't open though. At least, I think they won't. Maybe I've lost my sight and I'm laying here, pointlessly trying to open already open eyes.

"Will? Are you awake?" I can tell that was a man's voice. I think I should answer but I don't have the energy to try right now. I'll just listen, since as of right now it is all I am capable of. Hey, he's talking to someone else now. "His eyes moved!” A female voice murmured something. I didn’t catch what she said. The man is getting upset. He seems to be worried. I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m dead. “No, really! I did see his eyes move!” And if I could see right now, that would be great. Unfortunately buddy, we both aren’t getting very far at this moment.

“Aye, I’m not sayin’ ye didn’t. But, don’t be getting yer hopes up just yet. He’s got a long way to go. Even if he does get better, we don’t know if there will be any permanent damage.” Ah, you told him. Good girl.

“Arg, fine! But if I’m not here, and his eyes open, you had better find me right away!” Aha! So my eyes are closed. That’s good to know. Maybe I should try again. Open. Open, open, open, open… hey wait, I think I see light. It’s fuzzy. I wonder… if fuzzy light could be touched, would it be soft? Somethis mis moving. If only I could open my eyes up a little more… there we go. Now I just have to wait until they focus. Because, that would be really helpful.

“See?! I told you!” Why are we yelling? I’m sure they can hear you just fine from where they are. “Will?” Yes? “I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up.” Me too. “Don’t try to move.” Didn’t plan on it. “Can you speak?” Well, if I can’t what would I do? Shake my head? I don’t think so.

I think things are a little clearer now and someone is uncomfortably close to my face. If I could just make out those… Jack! It has to be! I can smell the rum on his breath. That and he’s the only person I’ve ever seen with those ridiculous beads in his beard. Right now, they are the easiest to make out.

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It wasn’t until a few days later that I could make fragmented sentences. My voice was still hoarse from dehydration and… something else. It felt like it was raw. Like when I was a child and I would get into an argument with one of the other boys. I would scream my voice away. I couldn’t move as much as I would have liked. Jack told me it was from malnutrition. He insisted on pampering me every chance he got. He brought me my meals and told me his silly stories. It wasn’t until I could manage full sentences that he attempted to hold a conversation.

“What happened Will?”

I thought for a moment and answered honestly, “I really don’t remember. Jack, where was I when you found me? How long was I gone? How did I get so hurt?”

He looked at me, glanced really. He seemed troubled and there was a pained look in his eyes. At first I thought it was because I bombarded him with difficult questions. “They took you, don’t you remember? Almost a year, not too long after Ms. Swann married the lobster.” I snorted at his reference to Norrington, then waited for him to continue. “They left you in that room and… used you when they felt the need.”

I didn’t understand. “Used?”

The pain in his eyes spread through to the rest of his face. “They raped you. You really don’t remember, do you?”

Everything came flooding back into my mind at that moment. I’m pretty sure I passed out from the overwhelming amount of forgotten memories swarming into my head. I remember these things, and now I lie here waiting for someone to come and see me. I don’t know how long I slept, I’ll have to ask them when they come back. It looks like this is my home now. I’ll just stay here and rest. I don’t want to move right now anyway.