Personal Ad

PERSONAL AD
Written by Alexandra Paris

My first attempt at BDSM Smith Fiction. This is not your run of the mill vanilla sex with an agent story. This deals with quite a few themes that are BDSM related and may not be suitable for some readers under 18. There is some spanking, bondage, anal and some slash.

Rating: NC17

Pairings: Agent Smith and OFC

Feedback: Desired

Betas: None

Author's Note: This fan fic was inspired by the 80's movie 9 1/2 Weeks starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger. it the story of a young woman by the name of Amanda who after losing her finace' really has nothing to live for until Smith comes into her life and makes her realize there is more to life than just wishing for death. Eventually they come to care for one another.

Disclaimer: The Matrix belongs to The Brothers Wachoski and 9 1/2 Weeks belongs to it creator. In chapter 11 the songs Leave Your Hat On is written and owned by Joe Cocker and Back In The Saddle is written and owned by Areosmith. I can attst that this fan fic is not being written for profit and is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblence to any characters living or dead is purely coincidenatal.

I admit, I was alone. I had no one. The last time I had someone in my life was five years ago. We were going to be married and plan out lives together. Ever since his death, I have not felt complete and I still feel the pain.

“It is God’s will.” My mother told me.

I was so sick and tired of her telling me things happen for a reason because God has a plan. Fuck God and fuck his plans! What about me? What about my fucking plans? I wanted to marry this man, I wanted to have a family with him and it was all ripped away because one night some drunk asshole decided he was going to get behind the wheel and fucking drive! In one instant my whole life was destroyed.

The night I learned that my fiancé died, I found out he went quickly. God, I wished I could just hold him one more time and tell him how much I loved him. I remembered our last kiss, and also the last time we made love. Finally I felt numb and couldn’t feel anymore, eventually I started to cut myself just so I could feel. It got to the point to where I couldn’t feel anything anymore, I was void of any emotion.

Especially when it came to sex......

To me it was nothing......


Whenever a man got too close and wanted to get to know me, I would cut it off just like that. Because to me, all they were in my eyes was a fuck and nothing more. That is what I kept telling myself. I sank deeper and deeper and even tried to kill myself by overdosing on drugs but with no success. There would be no cure for my pain.

I had a death wish......

And then one fateful night I was looking on the internet. There was a site with ads for singles and so I looked through it just for shits and giggles. Finally this ad had caught my attention:

I Hate This Place - M4F

Reply to: anon-196936@matrixmatch.com

Date: 2005-01-30

Yes, I do hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. If you feel the same thing and you know who you are, I would like to meet you and chat. And who knows? There could be possibly more that what meets the eye. To deny your own impulses is to deny the only thing that makes you who you are. I will be waiting.

-S

There was something about this ad that intrigued me, it was like it was written and placed for me to look for. But in a way it was also frightening because it seemed the one who wrote this seemed to know how I was feeling inside. Something about this was calling to me and so I finally got the nerve to finally send out an e-mail:

From: agentap@zion.com

To: anon-196936@matrixmatch.com

Date: 2005-01-31

Subject: Re: I Hate This Place

Hello,

I was looking at your ad and something about it just struck a cord. In a way I know how you feel about zoos, prisons and reality. I feel more suffocated than anything and I am looking for a kindred spirit as well. Can we meet?

-A

I hit the send button and then immediately I regretted my action. I had never done anything like that before and now I felt as if I opened Pandora’s Box. Only time would tell......