The Final Good-Bye

I tried to give as much background information as I could to make the story understandable. I suggest you see the movie at some point but basically Suzie is a Russian Jewish girl living in Paris at the start of WWII. She keeps her religion and origin a secret as she and a friend sing in a French opera company. There she meets Cesar, a gypsy, who is also a performer in the opera (he handles a horse). They begin a love affair. However, when the Germans invade Paris, Suzie is forced to leave to save her life. The beginning of this scene is from the actual film and it is the night Cesar comes to say goodbye to Suzie. I've just added to the scene.

Please read and review. It’s always nice to know what people think.

Disclaimer: I own neither Suzie nor Cesar. Plus, the first few lines of dialogue are from the actual film and I do not claim them as my own. Please don’t sue.
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Suzie gently folded the garments and placed them in her small suitcase. After only a few short weeks in Paris she was surprised to find how few of her belongings had changed while she had become a very different person. She felt older and tired, searching desperately within herself for answers. In all her 18 years had known loss and desperation, but had never felt such uncertainty and now her whole being was consumed by it.

She tucked the last of her clothing into the suitcase and went to her nightstand. From the small drawer she pulled out her father's picture. It had survived so much travel and was only worn slightly around the edges. She looked at his face, his clothing. Even with all the love she felt for him and the need to connect once again with her past, he was a stranger to her. She didn't remember that life and after all she had experienced, she wasn't so sure she even wanted it back. Her life in Paris had become more than ever expected and now she didn't want to leave,

Suzie placed the picture on top of the folded clothes when there was a gentle knock on the door. Her breath caught in her chest and she stood frozen. There was no longer trust in the sounds of the city she had come to call home. Chaos was everywhere and she was in constant fear that someday it would come banging at her door. Every knock, siren, or stumble in the streets could be the Germans coming for her, the secret she protects with great effort out in the open and her life over. Suzie forced her breath out of her chest and slowly moved to the door, breathing in deeply as she opened it.

Through the crack in the door she saw Cesar's eyes and she exhaled with immediate relief as she opened the door wider and allowed him to step in. He had never been to her apartment before and Suzie stood amazed at how large he seemed inside the small room. Despite the relationship they had formed and the few times he had made love to her, Cesar was still a mystery. A beautiful and enticing mystery who had first taken her virginity and now had every inch of her being craving him.

Suzie fell into his arms and cried. She could feel him slipping away from her although it was she who was leaving. She had to leave and care for herself and it was clear in her rational mind that it was better to run and live than to stay and die. But it was not the same for Cesar. He was not alone. He had a family he had to fight for, but Suzie desperately wanted to stay with him, fight with him.

"You have to fight for yourself," he said and as much as it pained her, she knew he was right. To stay in Paris now would mean certain death for her, were the Germans to discover she was a Jew. And to stay with Cesar would bring the same dangers as she would be mistaken for a gypsy.

"I only wish I could be with you," she said through tears. Cesar's dark eyes looked down at her from above. Despite the terror and uncertainty surrounding them, his eyes held comfort and security. Suzie always felt safe being held in his gaze. He brought his hand to Suzie's cheek and gently caressed it, wiping a tear away with his thumb. His hand was rough and calloused against the smooth skin of Suzie's face. The rings on his fingers felt cool on her and she pressed her cheek against his large, dark hand.

Cesar bent down and kissed her. It was the soft, simple kiss of goodbye, with no expectations and no hidden meanings. It was what he had come for and all he was there to do. There was no intention to take her again, causing her further anguish. She deserved a delicate touch and simplicity before the long and unknown journey which lay ahead of her. He was no stranger to the perils of uncertain travel but he had always been surrounded by the comfort and protection of his family. Suzie was going to be alone and he searched to find a way to bring her comfort without causing any more hurt.

But Suzie wanted more. She needed more. To leave him would be the greatest struggle she would ever face and she didn’t want goodbye to be so brief and fleeting. She realized that from all her memories of Cesar, this night would be the one she would always hold onto and she needed it to last. Resting her head on his shoulder, she wrapped her arms around him, her small fingers resting on his lower back, holding him firmly as he began to pull away.

“Cesar, please don’t go. Please stay with me. Stay with me tonight,” she begged, burying her face in his chest. He smelled of leather and cloves and Suzie found it intoxicating as she breathed him in.

He kissed the top of her head, allowing his lips to linger in her hair, which smelled of rose water and soap. He had made love to her before and knew her smell well, but it never detracted from her innocence. It was that innocence and the strong sexual hunger resting beneath it that kept drawing him back in.

“Are you certain that is what you want?” he asked into her hair, his thick accent swirling above her.

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Yes,” she whispered, “I need you to stay with me.”

He cupped her face in his hands and bent down to kiss her. A brush of lips soon turned deeper and Cesar kissed her passionately. It was a kiss filled with need and longing. A stamp on both their hearts so that they would remember forever. Suzie parted her lips willingly, welcoming the entrance of his soft, cool tongue. She wrapped her arms around his neck, rising onto her toes to meet his height, as Cesar’s kiss turned hungry and powerful. He enveloped his arms around Suzie’s small body and lifted her up off the ground. She gasped as her feet flew off the floor but he refused to break their kiss. His tongue filled her mouth. He tasted like bourbon, the sweet taste making her feel drunk.

Still locked in a kiss, Cesar carried Suzie to the small iron bed in the corner of the room and lay her body down on the tattered white blanket. He tore his lips away from hers and sat down on the bed beside her. He looked at her face, her eyes half open, her lips swollen from his kiss. She was so young and beautiful and he still could not believe everything she had given him. Everything she was continuing to give him. He felt blessed to be the first man to touch her and to feel her. Blessed that for the rest of her life, he would be the one she would compare all other men to.

Suddenly, the thought of Suzie with other men brought a great pang to Cesar’s chest. This would be the last time they would be together, the last time they would ever make love, the last chance he would have hold her, to touch her, to taste her. After this night she would be gone and would find other men to take to her bed. They would know her in ways he didn’t and he feared they wouldn’t help Suzie discover herself with the same deliciousness he had. He decided that she deserved more than that. She deserved the time and patience and with only one night left, he would help her to learn whatever he could teach her. In this last night, there was still much he had yet to discover.

Cesar placed his hands on either side of Suzie’s body and leaned down to kiss her. His movements were slow and meticulous. This would not be like the other times. He wanted to treasure Suzie and let her know she was being treasured. He moved his tongue around her mouth and gently sucked on her lower lip before sitting up again. He gazed down at her small body, laying there and waiting for him to take action. Her white slip clung to her and he could make out the soft curves of her body. Through the light material he could see her breast rise and fall in anticipation, her nipples appearing darker beneath the fabric.

Suzie could feel the heat of Cesar’s eyes as they poured over her. He had never stood back like this, watching her, studying her. Their lovemaking, while always exciting, was fast, driven by the force of their passion. This slow speed had a new, delicious feel and Suzie waited with baited breath.

He bent over again and kissed her shoulder, slowly pushing the strap of her slip down her arm, exposing her breast. He lifted his head and watched as her nipple slightly hardened as it came in contact with the air. He brushed it with his thumb and felt it become a hard peak beneath his finger. He cupped her breast and leaned down, taking the hard, pink bud into his mouth and sucked on it as his dark hair brushed the sensitive skin of Suzie’s belly. His mouth felt both familiar and new and Suzie closed her eyes, throwing herself fully into the pleasure of the experience.

He pulled down the other strap, revealing both of her breasts and stomach. Covering the breast he had been paying attention to with his hand, her nipple still wet from his mouth, he went to explore the other. Suzie let out a soft moan as Cesar molded her breasts with his hands and mouth. He sucked ever harder as she arched her back and gave her a gentle bite. Suzie gasped as the subtle pain quickly transformed into a sensational tingling.

Cesar moved his hands to Suzie’s waist and kissed down her stomach, his tongue leaving a wet trail on her abdomen. As his kisses slowly moved further down, he began to pull off her slip. Suzie lifted her hips and Cesar briskly removed the thin white material and her undergarments. She lay naked in front of him and Cesar sat up to take in the sight of her. Her pale, white skin glowed in the soft light of the room. He studied her, calculating his next move, curious to see how she would respond. He leaned in to dip his tongue into her bellybutton and then to continue his journey downward.

Suzie’s mind began to race. Cesar’s mouth felt good on her body and her skin tingled with every flick of his tongue. But how much further down would he go? She still felt naïve and scared when it came to making love and she didn’t know what to expect. Cesar continued to kiss the skin of Suzie’s lower abdomen and then moved to the crease between her thigh and belly. He dipped his fingers between Suzie’s thighs and began to spread them apart, kissing further into the crease.

Oh my god, Suzie thought, her eyes suddenly open and wide, what is he about to do? She grew scared and suddenly self-conscious of her own body. She quickly pushed Cesar’s head away and sat up, bringing her legs together.

“No,” she whispered, the uncertainty and fear lingering in her voice.

Cesar, remembering her youth and innocence searched for the reassurance she needed. “I just want to taste you Suzie.”

Suzie didn’t fully understand. Hadn’t he tasted her before, his tongue in her mouth and on her skin? Why would he need to taste between her legs? Would he receive pleasure from this? She was tentative but curious.

“What if…what if I…what if it’s…” she searched for the words, hoping Cesar would understand. “What if it’s not…good?”

Cesar smiled at her, his dark eyes framed by his thick, black hair. Suzie’s excitement raced as she saw the corners of his mouth turn up into the devilish grin. “Let me be the judge of that,” he teased.

Cesar had never given Suzie anything but pleasure and so she decided to trust him. He knew much more about the art of lovemaking and he had never made her feel uncomfortable or hurt. She slowly lay back down, he arms spread out on either side of her and her heart pounding in her chest.

Cesar once again pushed Suzie’s thighs apart with his fingers and lifted her leg over him, positioning himself between her legs. He bent down and kissed the delicate skin of her inner thigh, the smell of her sex filling his sences. Her scent made him dizzy with lust. She had the face and body of youth but she held the scent of a fully developed woman and he became drunk with it. He kissed his way up her thigh, and gently licked the out lips of her c***. He heard Suzie take in a quick breath and looked up. Her chest rose and fell with her rushed breathing, her eyes wide in amazement, and her hands clutching the sheet. He smiled as he thought, “It gets better than this Suzie.”

And with that he leaned in and quickly ran his tongue up the slit between her legs. Suzie gasped and threw her head back, the sensation spreading like wildfire through her body. As he continued the movement, going faster and faster, she grasped the tattered sheets and brought her knees up, allowing herself to get lost in her sences. Cesar glanced up at her for a brief moment, pleased to see her appreciation in the way her body moved. He lifted his head, ready to move back up her body but Suzie brought her hand down to the back of his head, pushing him back into her.

“Please don’t stop,” she begged, her fingers lost in the dark waves of his hair.

Cesar smiled as he gave in to her plea. Suzie was never the one to take control. Her inexperience and self-consciousness prevented it and Cesar would always be the one to guide her. But now she was controlling him and it was exciting to see her take what she wanted.

He sucked and bit on her then flicked quickly with the tip of his tongue. He moved his tongue faster and Suzie could feel the swirls of her orgasm rising in her stomach. Then Cesar dipped his finger inside her and she was sent over the edge, letting out a loud cry as she gave in to her orgasm. Cesar could feel the walls inside her tighten and pulse around his finger and he kissed her thigh as he slowly moved in and out of her.

Suzie panted and looked up at the ceiling as she came down from the whirlwind. There was a wonderful yet uneasy thought rising in her and she wondered if she should tell him.

“Cesar,” she said, still looking up at the ceiling, “can I…” she licked her lips as he glanced up at her, “Can I undress you?”

She waited for his response and when she didn’t get one she raised her body onto her elbows and looked at him. His dark eyes searched her face before he answered.

“You want to?” he asked.

She couldn’t speak, her heart was in her throat. She nodded and he smiled at her as he sat up.

“So my little Suzie has become a temptress,” he said with a grin. Suzie felt the blood rush to her face as she blushed. But she was too filled with lust. He could tease her, but she still wanted to learn.

Cesar stood, his knees in line with the bed. Suzie sat up on the bed and put her legs on either side of his body, straddling him. She found herself face to face with the gold buckle of his belt. Cesar stepped out of his shoes and removed his jacket and vest. Taking his cue, Suzie pulled his white shirt out from his pants. She ran he hands up his torso as he lifted the shirt over his head and tossed it behind him. Cesar’s chest and stomach were tan and toned, no doubt due to long hours working outside. Suzie imagined him working outdoors under the blazing Parisian sun, pulling the carts and pushing the horses. She traced the thin trail of hair on his lower belly with her finger until in disappeared behind the belt buckle.

Cesar watched as Suzie’s hands delicately undid the clasp of the belt and the buttons on the front of his pants. Then, with almost the same swiftness he had employed, she pushed his pants and undergarments down together and Cesar stepped out of them. He stood naked in front of her and she sat there with a full view of his manhood. Suzie had seen his c*** before in their lovemaking but this was the first time she was face to face with it and she suddenly found herself shy and nervous.

“Lay down, Suzie,” Cesar whispered, the timbre of his voice more the growl of an animal than of a man.

Suzie lay her back down upon the bed and inhaled her excitement as Cesar climbed above her. He lowered his hips between her legs and prepared to guide himself into her. Instead, he was surprised to find Suzie’s hand around his manhood, leading him inside her, her other hand behind him, pushing him deeper in. He slowly began to move in and out of her, his chest grazing her breasts.

Suzie lifted her arms above her head and grasped the rails of the iron headboard as Cesar continued his slow pace. Suzie enjoyed the movement for the first time without discomfort. Her body was now accustomed to Cesar’s, and Suzie could feel her heart break at the notion. For their last night together, Cesar’s body finally fit in hers and now she would never feel him there again. She closed her eyes, squeezing them tight, hoping to rid herself of the though and instead focused on Cesar’s deep, animal breaths. But, perhaps reading her mind, he would not let her.

“Suzie, open your eyes. Look at me.” He said, breathless and hungry.

She obliged him and looked into eyes. Damn this night, she told herself. She was going to have him consume her, enough to fill a thousand lifetimes. She held his gaze as he continued to thrust slowly in and out of her.

“Suzie…” Cesar whispered into her ear, his voice barely audible beneath his breath.

But something still didn’t feel right to her. If this was to be the last time, then she wanted Cesar to have all of her, the real her, the woman no other man had ever had and possibly would never have. She wanted Cesar to know everything about her and see who for whom she truly was. After all he had given her, he deserved it. And after all she had been through, so did she.

“Cesar?”

He stopped moving at looked at her with a furrowed brow.

“Call me Fedele.”

Cesar searched her face for a reason, an answer, uncertain what she meant by this request.

“Please, just this once, call me Fedele.” She licked her lips and prayed he would understand. If he needed more explanation then he truly did not know her and she had been living in a fantasy world. Fear consumed her and she watched Cesar’s eyes as the information sank into him.

He understood. She wanted him to call her by her forbidden name, her Jewish name, the identity she kept so secret. She was offering her true self to him, the one she had never offered before, the one he assumed was dead and buried. But no, she existed in the heart of this strong and beautiful woman beneath his body and now she wanted to share her with him and only him. The impact of her request pulled at his chest and he felt as if he were curled up inside of her.

“Yes,” he said, “Fedele.” The name seemed familiar on his lips as if he had said it a hundred times before. It felt right and fitting and he wanted to say it over and over again.

She smiled and leaned her head back, waiting for Cesar to continue making love to her, but he remained still. She looked and saw the intense burning in his eyes.

“I love you Fedele.”

Suzie closed her eyes, small tears forming in their corners as she wished beyond dreams for the power to hold those words in her ears forever.

“ Say that again.”

He kissed the lids of her closed, tear drenched eyes. “I love you Fedele.”

“I love you Cesar.”

He bent down and kissed her with a passion she instantly returned. The fire inside them was too great to withstand and he moved inside her with the same force he felt within himself. Suzie gave herself over to her orgasm, hugging Cesar with her whole body, urging him to follow her moments later, filling her with his whole being.

They slowly came back from their climaxes together, breathless and covered in sweat. They kissed and held each other, afraid to let the other one go, as the last spasms escaped their bodies. It was like clinging to air and Suzie didn’t want to let Cesar slip away. She felt his weight above her as he kissed the flesh beneath her jaw. He was heavy and real and she didn’t want him to move. As long as he stayed above her, as long as she could feel his weight, he was there and they would never be apart.

But Cesar slowly pulled out from her and rolled onto his side. They kissed and held each other in a thick silence. The air was heavy in the room and they both feared the inevitable which waited before them.

Cesar eventually sat up and insisted that they get dressed and Suzie didn’t question him. She knew there was a great likelihood that someone could come at any moment and find them. She pulled her slip over her body as Cesar put his pants and shirt back on. As he slipped on his vest she was suddenly filled with panic.

“You’re not leaving are you? You can stay with me, Cesar. I don’t leave till morning.”

“Do you want me to stay?” his question full of hope.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his body. “Please.”

He lay back down on the bed and pulled Suzie down to him, her head resting on his chest. They said nothing. There was nothing left to say. Suzie could hear Cesar’s heart beating in his chest as she curled up closer to him. She loved him and now she knew that he loved her. No matter what happened to them, they would always have that. The thought gave Suzie the comfort she needed and she was soon able to give herself over to sleep.

Cesar held Suzie’s small body against his own, resting his cheek on the top of her head. He listened as her breath slowed and softened into that of sleep and then his thoughts took hold of him. He hated the world they lived in, a world so cruel to bring them together and then tear them apart. He hated the Germans with their labels and anger, and the fear they felt towards all they didn’t know or understand. He hated those who persecuted. He held Suzie tighter as he felt a hard lump rise in his throat. He hated that he would have no future with Suzie and, perhaps, no future of his own. The uncertainty of his life terrified him as he felt lost in the unknown.

The lump grew stronger and Cesar had no more strength to hold it back. He cried for every injustice in the world. He cried for his family and the dangers which lay ahead for them. He cried for his uncertain future and the pain of being separated from all he knew. But most of all, he cried for the small body curled up into his chest, the woman he loved and who loved him back, the woman who for all eternity would hold his heart, his little Fedele.