Drunk

Disclaimer: If I owned Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, believe me, they would be having butt-sex everyday. If I owned Pirates of the Carribean, Elizabeth would've died in the first movie, and there most likely wouldn't be a need for a third. Unless that included three solid hours of sex between Jack and Will. And perhaps, about fifteen minutes worth of Jack, Will, and Norrington. But he'd have to lose "The Wig" first.

Now read the goddamn story. And if you wanna sue, not only will I laugh at you for the ridicoulousness of going after an endearing hobby enjoyed by many, I'll probably punch you in the vagina.



“And what would you have done…” Jack asked, the lilting quality have his voice no less present when thoroughly angered and intoxicated. “What would you have done had I not dragged you, kicking and screaming, from Port Royal?”

Will squirmed, uncomfortable in the pirate’s hold on him. He yanked one wrist away, and rubbed it gingerly.

“You know damn well what I would have done. And that’s what really angers you, isn’t it?” Oh, Will hated having this conversation. Hated it worse when Jack was as stone drunk as he was now. Far beyond the silliness he usually embodied into sudden, irrational anger.

“Enlighten me.” Jack instructed, taking a step forward as Will stepped back.

“You know what I would have done.” Will said again, and gasped as Jack grabbed his forearm, struggling slightly as the stronger man pulled him forward. “Why are you doing this? You know…”

“Tell me again.” Jack said, pulling the young man close, so that their faces nearly touched.

“I would’ve…” Will shuddered as hands suddenly grasped him, holding awkwardly low on his back. “I would’ve opened up my own shop…”

“Indeed?” Jack asked, feigning interest as he pressed his lips against Will’s throat.

Will shivered as Jack’s teeth bit into a particularly sensitive area. “I would’ve…” Another particularly hard nip broke his voice. “I would’ve married Elizabeth.”

That must have irritated him, as he bit Will again, harder. Will cringed and pushed the other man back, raising a hand to the injury, and pulling it back to see blood.

Jack took the hand examining the pooled blood, as if viewing the substance for the first time. Then, used his long tongue to clean it off. Will yanked his hand away before Jack could get too far.

Not at all put off, Jack ordered, “Go on.”

Will shook his head. “Jack, this is pointless.”

“Do it.” Jack grabbed him again, this time far lower, and pulled the young man in another tight embrace.

“Maybe… We could have had children...” Will groaned dismally as Jack’s hand slipped beneath the waistband of his worn pants.

“And built a house, and wrote a memoir, and counted the days to the end of your life.” Jack interrupted. “That’s no life for a man, least of all you.”

Will finally surrendered to the intimate touching, choking back a sob as Jack pushed against him, slamming hard against the wall.

“Maybe,” Will said through gritted teeth, “maybe it’s what I wanted.”

“Then you don’t know what you want.” Jack said, as he pulled Will’s pants down to his ankles.

“Arrogant…” Will hissed as Jack slid a dry finger into his anus. The pirate’s untrimmed nails tore into him as always. “Arrogant bastard…”

Jack grinned against the flesh of his neck as he pulled Will over his straining erection.

“Pirate, lad.” He thrust up into the younger man then, relishing his screams with drunken delight.


Afterward: If you wanna know what was going through my head when I wrote this... well... so do I. I really should go back and fix this, smooth out the grammar, add some detail, and give it an effing ending... but my college classes start next week, I'm drawing a horrible writer's block, I'm sick as a dog, not to mention that this is a fandom I never, EVER wanted to touch, so most likely, you will not be seeing any updates on this. Enjoy my benadryl induced iebriation, you drolling non-con lover monkeys.

And on a more personal note....


Fuck you, Disney.