Wood and Roses

It was cold, not unusually so for Detroit in early February, but cold none the less. Mercedes hugged her thin winter coat tighter to her body with one hand and tilted her head against the wind as she continued up the familiar street. Vivid memories of such cold February nights here on this street were brought painfully back as she passed the houses she’d passed many times before, the alleys…the backyards, the parking lots. It was all here, just as she’d left it. She swallowed agitatedly, trying to dislodge her heart from her throat and breathe normally, cursing the myth that time healed all wounds.

As she neared the old house, she took a deep breath and without realizing that she was doing so, ceased all forward motion. She stood there in the middle of the empty street, the orange glow of a streetlight casting the only illumination on the old beaten up two-story she had once known as a second home. Her eyes traveled up the loose siding and to the second story window and once again her heart was in her throat, beating so rapidly she could barely breathe.

“Oh for Christ’s sake Mer…” She cursed herself silently. Her free hand fingered the pack of cigarettes and lighter in her pocket and she seemed to debate on whether or not to have a smoke before heading into the Lion’s den. It didn’t take long for her to nod, conceding to the fact that she would indeed need it. As she pulled the cigarettes from her pocket and placed one in her mouth, she continued the last few steps to the front porch, sitting down on the top step and pulling the collar of her winter jacket high on her neck. It had never occurred to her that there was anywhere else to have a cigarette than the front porch of Evelyn Mercer’s home. The wind made it nearly impossible for her to successfully light the cigarette, though eventually the flame caught through careful shielding and wind calculations on Mercedes’ part. She inhaled deeply and held it, staring out into the vacant Detroit neighborhood around her, a terrible nostalgic grief washing over her before she had a chance to steel herself. She exhaled slowly; trying with the smoke to breath out the awful feeling she hadn’t been able to rid herself of since her bus had reached city limits. Another long drag and she had calmed herself slightly, though her fingers still shook, her heart had retreated back into her chest, though it continued to beat rapidly.

“Hey there Kiddo.” Mercedes’ body stiffened at the sound of a voice she hadn’t heard in years and she turned to look back over her shoulder and recognized the heavy steel toed boots immediately.

“Bobby…” The cigarette dropped to the ground and she rose up to be met with the same big bear hug that had comforted her hundreds of times before. Big strong arms encircled her and held her there, his head resting on her shoulder.

“You still smoking, mermaid?” He whispered in her ear, though the usual scolding tone was gone from his voice. She simply nodded into his chest, wrapping her arms tighter around him.

“I missed you.” She mumbled into his shirt, savoring the familiar smell that was Bobby, a combination of leather, aftershave and slight body odor that had never seemed to bother her.

“Of course you did. What kind of a big brother would I be if you didn’t miss me when I was gone?” He pulled back and she smiled up at him, studying the changes the few years had brought to his face and the hard lines that told her there were harder years to come. She shoved him playfully then, returning to her seat on the step and reaching into her pocket for the smaller, longer pack she had kept there for this moment.

“You missed me too asshole.” She stated simply, pulling a pack of cigars from her pocket and waving them over her shoulder. “And I know you want one of these.” She heard the chuckle escape his lips as he lowered himself onto the step beside her and pulled one from the proffered pack.

“You tell Jackie boy about this and you’ll be wearing cement for shoes.” His voice was threatening though the grin on his face showed no sign of threat as she handed him the lighter and pulled out a cigar of her own.

“You used to tell me that all the time, cement for shoes…” She elbowed him in the side and shook her head disapprovingly. “I actually believed you till I was about thirteen, asshole.” Bobby’s laughter joined hers now and they sat and smoked their cigars in silence. It was a comfortable silence, a familiar one. Bobby was the first to break the silence as he took a long drag from his cigar and regarded his surrogate sister for a moment as if trying to decipher some kind of code.

“He’s in a bad place right now, kid. Don’t expect a happy reunion just yet.”

“I know.” She exhaled a large cloud of smoke and simply nodded. “I know…”

“He saw you, you know. Last year at Ma’s funeral…and that card you sent is still in his dresser somewhere.”

“And what exactly are you doing going through your brother’s dresser drawers Bobby Mercer?” She scolded half heartedly, skirting completely around the issue he was heading into.

“I needed a dome.” He replied holding his hands up in defense. “God knows he ain’t usin the ones he’s got…”

“You’re still on that fairy kick huh?” She chuckled softly, remembering all the times she’d sat in Jack’s room on the edge of the bed as he’d bitched endlessly about his older brother’s constant ribbing. How afterwards, after he’d bitched and defended his sexual orientation to her till he was blue in the face she’d simply raise an eyebrow in his direction with a muttered “If you say so….” And that’s all it ever took…

--Flashback--

“If I- If I say so?” He stared at her incredulously, “If I fucking say so?”

“Hey man..” She threw her hands up in defense and shrugged her shoulders. “Alls I’m sayin is I’ve been here for oh…” She glanced at her watch. “Two hours now and the only thing you’ve fingered so far is that goddamn guitar of yours…” A crooked smiled played over Jack’s soft features as he placed the guitar aside, but made no move towards the baiting brunette sitting strategically on the edge of his bed. She leaned back on her arms, breasts thrust proudly forward and straining against her green spaghetti strap tank top.

“You should be thankful I’ve been playing this guitar, chicky-poo.” He stated simply, eyes traveling up her body and finally meeting her gaze. “You couldn’t handle the things I’d do to you.” Mer’s green eyes widened at the unexpected jibe, both eyebrows rising slightly and though she would never admit it, the tone in his voice and the promise in his eyes nearly caused her to pounce him from clear across the bed. But she couldn’t let him win this round.

“Maybe…” She rose lazily from her seat and stretched languidly, feeling the stretch of her shirt as it rode up, revealing a flat stomach and the slight swell at the base that she knew Jackie boy was dying to run his hands over. Truth be told she was dying for Jacks hands to be running over her, but still, she turned towards the door. “Or maybe it’s you who can’t handle me…maybe I’m not the type you like to handle…” She tossed a knowing wink over her shoulder before reaching for the door knob and exiting the small bedroom. As she entered the hall and headed for the bathroom, it was all she could do not to turn around and see if he was following. Her nerves were practically humming and she knew that if he didn’t come soon she’d have little choice but to run back into the room and jump him the way she’d been aching to do all morning.

Before she had a chance to ponder anything further however she was lifted off of her feet with such force that she could hardly believe it was her Jack that was throwing her over his shoulder and marching straight back into the room from which she had come. She landed unceremoniously onto the soft mattress and immediately her body was covered with his own, his mouth silencing any protests that could have come from her soft pink lips.

Her hands found his hair and grabbed handfuls of it crushing his lips harder into her own. She could feel her nipples tightening against her shirt as the heat of his body pressed into them and let out a small moan as he ground into her, the friction causing heat in her pussy to rise as it suddenly took on a heartbeat of it’s own. She reached down and grabbed one of his hands, which had been resting on the outside of her hip and brought it up to one breast, her moan growing louder as his thumb expertly encircled the nipple. His other hand reached between them and popped one of the buttons on her jeans letting a solitary finger trail down to massage her clit over her silk panties.

“Fuck baby…” She moaned into his mouth, and he simply grinned, nibbling lightly on her bottom lip. It was like electricity coursing through her and she wanted more, but he was drawing it out, slowly and deliberately. He wanted her to beg for it. His finger slowed as he gazed into her eyes for a moment, and she saw something flash behind his blue orbs that she didn’t like. Then all movement ceased.

“Jack what the fuck are you-”

“Shut up.” He said in a hoarse whisper, though the command in his voice was still there. His weight shifted as he reached under the bed for something and Mercedes sighed in frustration. The ache in her pussy was fading slightly and she was not impressed with the lack of contact. When he came back up he pressed his full weight down on her and brought one hand up, dangling from the index finger a pair of handcuffs.

“Jack…”

“Shut up I said.” With his weight pressed down on her Mer knew there was no way she was going to be able to fight him of, and she wasn’t sure she really wanted to. This was a side of Jackie boy she hadn’t seen before and she made a mental note to bring this side of him out more often.

Removing both of her hands from the back of his neck, he slung the handcuffs over a rail in the headboard and secured her wrists tightly, making sure he heard the click as they locked into place. Sparkling green eyes met his blue ones as she levitated off the mattress to grind her pelvis into his and almost elicited a moan from her own lips at the contact. Her nipples stood out proud against the tight green fabric and ached for his touch. She looked down at her chest then back at him, quirking a brow suggestively. He studied her for a moment before rising from the bed, completely cutting off any contact at all.

Confusion and frustration was clear on her face, though she made no verbal protest as Jack walked over to the old tape player on the other side of the room and popped in an unlabeled mix tape.

“It’s going to get loud in here…I don’t want Bobby to think I’m killing his little sister.” He threw darkly over his shoulder as Nine Inch Nails- Fuck You Like An Animal began blasting through the room, he walked lazily to the door and the lock clicked into place. Mercedes was near madness when he finally returned to the bed, a devilish grin spread across his features. The song seemed to spur his confidence more as he leaned over her, his face inches away from her left nipple and she arched upwards, her body burning for the contact. He chuckled slightly, shifting down and rolling her tank top up just to the base of her chest as he began trailing his tongue down her stomach, sucking and biting as he did so, eliciting a moan or a gasp the few times his teeth found their mark. As he reached the edge of her jeans his hands grabbed the pockets and pulled. The jeans came free with ease as Mercedes lifted her hips for him, trying at the same time to help remove her jeans and bring her clit closer to his mouth.

This was ridiculous, he had barely touched her and already she seemed to be on fire. He crawled slowly up the mattress, his body hovering over hers as he smiled wolfishly at her. One hand skillfully freed first one arm from the strap of her top, then the other. His lips came down onto hers for the first time in what felt like an eternity and once again wildfire spread through her. The tank top was quickly pulled down, her tits spilling out, nipples hard and demanding. He continued the kiss and let on hand travel up her side and cup one, his thumb running lightly over the aching nipple.

“Jesus…” She moaned, arching into him and he smiled, lowering his head to the other. An irrepressible moan could be heard, low and throaty as the he sucked skillfully at the hard bud in his mouth, letting his tongue slide over it slowly and eliciting yet another moan. “Fuck…” As he moved his head to the other breast he brought one hand down and massaged her throbbing clit over the thin silk material of her panties. He looked up now, his eyes meeting her half lidded ones, lips parted in a silent “o”. He removed his mouth from her and leaned up, nibbling gently at her earlobe.

“I can fucking handle you baby.” He whispered, drawing slow circles over her hard clit and causing a louder moan to escape her lips.

“Yes.” She managed, her back arching towards his hand. She could barely contain the moans rising to her lips, and she pulled desperately on the handcuff’s, trying to free her hands to touch him, to bring him closer. His eyes met hers challengingly, and his hand ceased movement. She let out a slight whimper at the loss of contact, but her heartbeat quickened as he lowered himself on the bed, slowly trailing kisses down her pelvis. As he drew closer and closer to the edge of her panties she once again thrust her hips up to meet him but he pushed them down forcefully and held them there.

“Tell me.” He murmured, lowering his head and allowing his breath to sweep over her soaking wet pussy. When silence ensued, he flicked his tongue out and ran it up the crotch of her black silk panties. She moaned loudly, frustration clear in her voice as she struggled against the bonds. “Tell me.” The debate in her head was barely argued as the fire grew with his touch. When his tongue snaked out again and ran over her clit she rolled her head back.

“Fuck baby, fucking handle me.” She managed, still pulling against the cuffs. When he didn’t respond she whimpered. “Please baby, I fucking want you so bad…” One finger moved to pull aside the crotch of her panties and she moaned even before his tongue ran over her wet pussy. “Yeah…fuck yeah.” He drew lazy circles around her clit, then drew it into his mouth, sucking gently. This sent her over the edge and she moaned loudly, no longer caring who heard her. All she cared about were the waves of fire coursing through her as he continued to suck her clit expertly. One hand reached up and pinched the nipple on Mer’s right breast, rolling it between his fingers as he continued the ministrations with his mouth. Mer felt the electricity coursing through her body increasing at a rapid pace and she knew she was close.

“Who can fucking handle you?” He asked, replacing his tongue with a finger and staring pointedly at her.

“You can…” She moaned loudly, her hips jerking.

“Who?”

“Fucking Jack Mercer!” She cried out as the orgasm washed over her and she finally looked down into Jack’s eyes, her own half-lidded with lust.

“And don’t fucking forget it.”

--End Of Flashback--


“Hey. Kiddo, anybody home?” Mercedes snapped back to reality as she looked at the long ash of her nearly finished cigar, then up into Bobby’s laughing eyes. “Jeez are you a fucking space cadet today or what…”

“Sorry Bobby.” She laughed, taking a final drag from her cigar and tossing it into a snow bank outside. “It’s just weird being back in the old neighborhood…”

“Yeah well it’ll be a lot weirder when you’re back in the old house.” He shouldered her playfully and rose to his feet, offering his hand and pulling her to her feet. “Come on mermaid, I think the fairy’s still awake.” She nodded, but offered no response as her nerves got the better of her and she paused for a moment before the front door. Bobby turned and looked back at her, snorting in annoyance.

“Mercedes Stuart, I didn’t raise no pussy for a little sister. Now get your ass in here and get it over with, you’re letting the cold air in.”

“Alright alright…” She sighed, picking up her duffle bag from the ground and following him into the house. A million memories seemed to hit her in the chest as she closed the door behind her and leaned against it. The house had the old smell of wood and roses, just as it always had. Evelyn, she remembered with a small smile on her face, had loved rose and though she had been gone a year now, the smell still seemed to linger. With another smirk she looked down the hall into the kitchen and remembered the first time she had tried to teach Bobby how to bake.

Evelyn had spent a good twelve hours and countless dozens of eggs trying to teach a seven year old Mercedes how to bake a proper pound cake and true to form once she had realized she knew something in the world Bobby didn’t know, Mer had spent every weekend trying to pass on the wisdom. She could almost see her small form. Barefoot on a wooden stool and still barely reaching the counter. Totally oblivious to her own actions, she had echoed an entire childhood’s worth of Bobby teaching her how to do things right back at him.

From the kitchen she could hear the sliding of wood across the linoleum flooring, and there was the exact stool. Bobby looked down at it, a smirk on his face.

“No no no, what are you stupid? How many times do I have to tell you? That’s too much sugar! Put that down! Tie up your apron! Blah blah blah blah blah…” Bobby mimicked, tapping the stool with the toe of his shoe.
It had always been beyond the boys how Bobby and Mercedes were able to read each other’s minds, but nobody questioned it. It just was just one of those things, Evelyn had said, and they left it at that.

Mercedes laughed, dropping her duffle bag at the bottom of the stairs and advancing into the kitchen. She came to a stop a few inches from the stool and for a moment both her and Bobby stood in silence, staring at the inanimate object with the same Mercer look etched deep into their features.

“I really did think you were a super hero.” She smiled, kicking the stool lightly and patting Bobby on the shoulder. “I never got to say thank you before I left…”

“You never had to.” He shrugged, turning towards the fridge and swinging the door open with a great creak. “I seem to remember on more than one occasion a certain someone marching out onto the ice with a baseball bat when she thought someone was fuckin with her Bobby…”

“Oh come on, I was hardly saving your life…the damn bat was bigger than I was.” She laughed at the thought, a musical sound that seemed the bubble across the room and fill the kitchen. It was a sound Bobby hadn’t heard in a long time, hadn’t thought he would again and he laughed too, pulling her into one last big bear hug.

“Alright Mercedes Stuart, get a hold of your balls and god see the fuckin fairy.” He said in his best stern big brother voice. She nodded into his shoulder, though made no move to release him from the embrace.

“I will…” She mumbled, though it was slightly muffled through the fabric of his work shirt.

“I got a cold beer or ten for you when you get back.” He gave her a final squeeze before shoving her towards the door. “I’ve been waiting 20 years to get my little sister drunk, so make it fuckin quick.” Her only acknowledgement to him was a withering and yet dismissive wave over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs. The wood creaked beneath her feet and she winced. For some unexplainable reason she felt a pressing need to have her entry be silent.

“Oh for fuck sakes Mer since when do you have to sneak up on Jackie boy…” She muttered to herself as she tip toed up the stairs at the pace of a turtle. “Just cuz you’re attached to a pussy doesn’t mean you have to act like one…” She recited the line to herself that Bobby had told her almost every day of her youth. That line had always given her strength, if only through indignant anger at her brothers.

She stopped just outside his door for a moment, listening to the music drifting out into the hall. With a sigh that was never meant to escape her lips, she leaned against the doorframe for a moment. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. Cool and collected…cool and collected… Pushing off of the doorway she made her way down the hall into Evelyn’s old room and stood in front of the full length mirror, studying herself with all the scrutiny of a 20 year old girl. Tight waves of deep brunette spilled over her shoulders and came to rest just past her collarbone, framing a heart shaped face that had once held color and life. Her eyes, once a bright shade of green had faded back into a light brown that they hadn’t seen since she’d met Jack. It had become apparent at an early age that her eyes changed color with her emotions, and so she had determined that green either meant horny, angry or extremely happy. Actually, it was pretty much any emotion Jack had evoked in her that would turn them green, so over the years they had stayed that shade…until the day she’d left.

She stared for a moment at the body she’d worked so hard on over the years, but had never been satisfied with. Hands ran subconsciously over her own stomach, trying to feel what Jackie felt when he touched her and never happy with what she felt. A slight bump here, a soft spot there. She did have an hourglass figure; she would give herself that- round smooth hips and a small waist and breasts of reasonable proportion to the rest of her figure. She was never svelte or waif-like but she had kept fit.

Mercedes moved from the mirror and sat down at the edge of the bed, closing her eyes and letting her head fall forward; strengthening herself for the meeting she had been dreading and yet hoping for for many years.

When she heard the footsteps enter the room and the weight sink into the bed behind her she froze. She willed herself silently to keep her eyes closed and not turn around and throw herself at the boy who’d stolen her heart so long ago. Instead she leaned back into him slightly and felt the warmth of his big hands on her shoulders and he massaged slowly, his thumbs running up the back of her neck.

She noticed distantly that his touch was different than she had remembered and she felt a small sinking feeling in her stomach…maybe things were different. Maybe that feeling she was praying she’d feel again was gone…Please let me feel something when he kisses me…As if on queue she felt hands brush away the hair covering her neck and a lingering kiss was placed under her ear. It felt nice…arousing even…but it was definitely not what it used to be.

“Damn girl you smellin good today. You got a new perfume or something…” The speed at which Mer shot up from the bed was catlike, as she turned in horror at another of her surrogate brothers. The shock on his face seemed to mirror her own as she wiped furiously at her neck.

“ANGE?!”

“Mer?! The fuck….I thought you was Sophie.” He made a face as if he had tasted something bitter and looked around the room to see if anybody else had seen what had taken place. After a moment of slightly more than awkward silence, the two pairs of eyes met once again and both parties burst into uncontrollable laughter. Mer walked up to a now standing Angel between gasps for air and enveloped him in a tight hug. “Damn girl, I missed you.”

“I miss you too knuckled head…just try and control your fuckin I-missed-you urges, cuz I ain’t down.” She laughed, receiving a playful shove that sent her flying back onto the bed.

“Fuck you man, I already said I thought you was Sophie.” He laughed, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck tiredly. “I need to be getting more sleep or something…what are you doin back in town anyway? You seen Jack yet?” She shook her head, rising from the bed and dusting herself off quickly.

“I was about to.” She shrugged, kicking at a non-existent rock on the floor. “I was hoping to hang around for a bit…shit got fucked up in L.A. and I uh…I just needed home for a while.”

“Well shit girl, you can stay as long as you cook for your keep…Bobby hates Sophie’s cookin and the fairy ain’t cookin anything till Bobby stops makin the fag jokes.”

“No shit, you still fuckin La Vida Loca?” She asked incredulously, following him back out into the hall and stopping outside his bedroom door.

“Don’t you start with that fuckin Vida Loca shit either, you’re not too old for me to tune you.” He said sternly, opening his bedroom door and stepping one foot inside the room. “I’ll see you in the morning, Mer, it’s good to have you home.”

“Alright Ange…” She smiled, then looked down the hall to Jack’s room again, guitar still filtering out into the hall. Once again, forward motion seemed to evade her as her heart began pounding in her chest and rising back into her throat. Somehow, she managed to place one foot in front of the other, though it seemed that her feet were the only part of her showing any sense, as her head was screaming to turn around and to go back to Evelyn’s room. She stopped outside his door, biting down on the corner of her lip, fist poised an inch from the sturdy wood door but still not knocking. With a sigh she exhaled breath she hadn’t known she had been holding and knocked, albeit quietly, on a door she had never had to knock on in her life.

“What?” The voice was terse, annoyed, and the guitar faltered but did not stop. She nodded encouragingly to herself before grasping the door knob and turning it quietly, easing the door open and stepping into the room. Maybe if she was quiet enough he wouldn’t even notice she was there…the door clicked closed behind her and she waited for a few agonizing seconds for him to look up from his music, but he did not. He simply continued to play.

The sight of him hit Mercedes in the chest and nearly knocked the breath out of her. Her entire body seemed to have received an electric jolt and was humming silently as she stood in the center of the room, unsure of what to do next. She opened her mouth to speak but a sudden dryness in her throat made it impossible for words to come out. As she swallowed and prepared to attempt speaking again, Jack looked up, eyebrows drawn together in annoyance. She could see a sentence forming on his lips but it was lost completely when his eyes came into contact with hers, his annoyed expression turning of one to utter disbelief, then sadness.

“Mermaid…” he murmured under his breath, the pain in his voice was enough to break her heart. She would have preferred anger to this…anything to this.

“Jackie boy.” Time seemed to be at a stand still, as the two stared at each other, unsure of what the next move was. She moved towards his bed and when he showed no sign of stopping her, Mercedes sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed. Still they stared. The more she looked into his eyes the harder the pain of the past few years hit her in the chest. All the nights she had been curled up under a moth-eaten woolen blanket, freezing and calling out to Jack in her sleep. Every time she had cursed and hated herself for ever leaving…all the times she had prayed to be back here…in this house, in this room, on this bed…

Without warning a choked sob escaped her lips and she realized to her own horror that there was a burning behind her eyes that she hadn’t felt in ages. A tear slipped down her cheek and she bowed her head, ashamed of herself for crying in front of the one person she had no right to cry in front of.

“Mer…” His voice was soft as he placed the guitar aside and inched up the bed, legs and arms encircling her small frame. He rocked her there for a moment, his cheek resting on the top of her head. Smelling shower clean with the lingering smell of cigarettes…just the way she remembered. As she tried to stop the tears, she held her breath, refusing to release the sobs that threatened to come, and instead shook uncontrollably. “Mercedes, my Mercedes…” He murmured into her hair, pulling her tighter to him. “Where did you go…” She shook her head into his chest at the question and finally was able to draw a deep gasping breath into her lungs. Letting it out silently she simply leaned into him, inching forward and trying to get closer than she knew was possible.

“I’m so sorry…” She managed at last through shaky breaths. He nodded against her head, one hand rubbing her back and Mercedes realized for the first time that the top of her head was damp. Tilting her gaze up she realized that Jack, though his jaw was set firm and his eyes were unblinking, had let a few tears escape. “I’m so sorry…”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” He said quietly, arms still around her. There was a pause as they sat there, neither sure what to do next, neither sure what the other would allow. After a long moment, he pulled back and turned her face towards his, studying her eyes. “Are you staying?” She could hear him fight to keep the hope from his words but still it was there and this in turn gave her hope. Maybe things would be okay…She nodded, running the back of her sleeve over her eyes and staring once again. His hands still rested on the sides of her face as he stared at her, caught somewhere between fear and relief, anger and passion. When she reached up to hold his face in her own hands she made slow, unsure movements. She was treating him like a skittish colt and she knew it, but she had lost the confidence to simply do what it was she’d been dreaming of doing again for years.

Bringing her forehead up to rest against his she sighed, more out of relief than anything else. “I’m staying Jackie boy.” She felt the pad of his thumb brush the corner of her mouth and tilted into it. Eyes closed and hands shaking she brought her mouth up to his and captured it there. They sat, frozen, neither wanting to let go, hearts beating so hard they were sure the other could hear it. When she finally felt his mouth move under hers the relief she felt was dizzying and the heat she felt was unmatchable. Rising up onto her knees she pressed the length of her to him and though she could get no closer, one of his arms came around and pulled her in tight, the other still lingering on her face.

When the kiss broke, he refused to let go and she didn’t fight him. They stayed there on the bed for what seemed like an eternity before either could speak. “Don’t go away Mermaid…” He muttered.

“No Jackie boy…I’m not going anywhere.”