Endless Closures

"The Addiction"


It was late in the night, and Chad laid out drunk thinking endlessly about everything that happened when in high school, the only thing is it haunted him for a long period of time. He wondered if the thoughts would ever depart from him, maybe possibly erase automatically out of his memory, but it never did. He would find ways everyday to keep his mind off of what had kept him in such misery. But the more it haunted him the more it got worse. It drove him to insanity, and it lead him to The Addiction. The Addiction, was his drinking problem, and he would intake large amounts of alcohol everyday, until he was highly intoxicated. Chad felt he was a disgrace to his family, therefore leading him to stay distant from them. Chad felt he had only one friend, his alcohol. Maybe drinking would stop the pain for him, maybe it could stop all the anguish and insecurity. And all hopes that was for him had been destroyed, due to all of the baggage he held on his shoulders. While gulping down the last hit from The Addiction, he'd drop the bottle, and slowly fastened his eyes shut. At that point he had gotten what he wanted, yet again temporarily escaping his pain that didn't go anywhere.


The world had became a river of bright colors, that turned into buildings, and speeding cars, and with sunrises with sun falls, flowers growing, and dying, people walking, and running, birds chirping, dogs barking, planes crashing. But it had only been a dream, the dream of his temporary insanity, a feeling that is unexplainable and makes no sense. Overslept into half the end of day, the sun had set, and the clouds were loud. With thundering of the sky, awakening him. Chad had risen from his bed, and overlooked himself, rugged, and scuffled, and a stench he had for days had became more noticeable, and the smell lurked the bedroom. Taking a few sniffs of himself, a repulsive reaction was oblivious for him to wash up. In the bathroom after a few moments he dropped his clothes and sat in the bath water. While relaxing, constant thoughts flashed in his head, he yelled out STOP! repetitively, until a rush of sobriety over took him, allowing tears falling from his eyes. The Addiction had taken over, yet again, causing him to break down. After the bath, Chad then finally took a second to redeem himself, and then the phone rings.


On the third ring Chad allowed himself to answer it, it was DJ. Now knowing the sacred past they had together, Chad became overwhelmed with his mixed emotions and they were immediately flowing back to him like a water fall crashing into the waves. 'Hello?..' DJ said. Their was a long pause between the two, Chad knew that voice he couldn't speak he was muted. And he knew what was yet to come. 'Hello?..Mr. Danforth?' DJ saying determined. Their was another pause, Chad had hesitated, he was nervous, he was dumbfounded, and wondered how, and why is he calling, but he pretended as if he didn't know who it was. 'Yes..(cough)..Hello? Who's calling?' Chad blinking constantly 'Hey! you don't know who this is?' DJ questioned. 'No not really.' Chad responded almost convinced that he didn't know. Their was a pause before DJ could say another word, 'Well. uh. who's calling?' Chad stating it as if he were impatient. '..DJ.. it's me DJ don't you remember me?' DJ's happy face dropped. 'No, I don't know of any DJ, how may I help you?', yet again another pause from DJ 'I'm sorry but I'm pretty busy, so can we speed this up or something?' Chad responding with DJ's dead silence. 'It's..Okay thanks for your time." DJ dropped the call in displeasure. With a carefully slow gesture Chad hung up the phone with utter guilt. Chad knew how bad that must have felt for DJ, but he didn't think, and went on instinct.


Going back, those two were closer than ever. Not only lovers, but best friends, and had learned, and grew upon each other. Inseparable, and determined to be with one another endlessly. But overtime things changed, they separated, and never spoke to each other again, it was only until college where the two were conservative, they had made up, and shared a couple of outings with each other but after college they happen to lose contact with one another. Resulting loneliness within Chad because he had no one to talk to, Troy had moved to Florida, with Ryan, and himself relocating in Southern California. He had no contact with anyone.


DJ sat at his kitchen counter trying to figure out, what had passed between the two. Their was only a sense of despair, and lack of happiness, left his throat to choke. DJ felt that Chad didn't want anything to do with him, he was hurt, and a rush of his emotions overtook him. And in a rage he went to his bathroom, tears showering out his eyes, and with a quick gesture holding up the blade of The Addiction. The Addiction kept him in a state of comfort, he knew if he used his addiction it would cause a sense of an alternative, to hide back his issues. So he did, with the blade slitting across his leg, he took a deep gasp, and a huge exhale. The Addiction had taken control of DJ, and he now was under the control of it. As he finishes up, he wipes his face, and leaves the bathroom. The phone rings.


"The Phone Call"


DJ didn't want to answer it, The Addiction wouldn't let him, his mind wouldn't let him. He then bite his tongue and picked up the phone. There was a hesitant swallow on the other end. '..Hello?..' Chad said with a soft fearful voice. 'Hello....Chad' DJ said with an obvious tone of voice that he knew Chad was calling. Their was a pause Chad hesitated. 'Well Chad. why are you calling me? I thought you don't remember who I am... yeah? Chad? You can't speak? huh? say something!' DJ feeling frustrated, he snapped. ' YEAH? YEAH? CHAD SPEAK! SPEAK UP?... YOU CALLED ME? WHAT IS IT?" DJ shouting at the top of his voice. 'I'm sorry okay? fine. I said it. I know who you are. I'm sorry, you happy now?' Chad said. 'Yeah I guess. well why are you calling me?' DJ asked. 'I felt bad..Okay..alright dude just squash it.' Chad stating with a final tone. 'Well what do you want?' DJ laid onto his bed, 'I just wanted to know how's it been since we last spoke. I just miss everything.. Us.' Chad laying on the bed. 'Us? wow I haven't heard that in years. You know I've moved on I just came across your number, and I'd thought I'd call you.' DJ said trying to sound convincing knowing it was nothing of the sort.


'Wow..really? that's it no..I miss you.. I thought we'd ..ooh okay. I get it. You got another guy. Is that it?' Chad asked. 'No. It's neither of the sort. I just wanted to rekindle that's it noting more nothing less." DJ saying thinking what the hell is he saying. 'Well..DJ listen to me..' Chad said. 'Mm Hmm?' DJ quickly responded. 'DJ I love you, I miss you, I want you..It's been such a long time... I have grown to still miss and ever since 12 grade when I made that stupid decision, I still have hurt myself over it. I know I've told you this at college. But I'm sorry for everything. I've always loved you.' Chad said, gasping for air, and feels relieved. At that same moment DJ heart melts, his face becomes an oven. '..wow.. Uh. well.. Chad? are you alright?' DJ stammering over his words. 'I'm helplessly lost. without you, and have been very miserable.' Chad admitting.


'That was the sweetest thing someone has ever said to me.' DJ blushing red. 'What do you say? come over to my place?' Chad asked desperately. 'I'm in New York.' DJ laughs. 'Sorry Hun. I can't see you, even if I wanted to.' DJ said. 'I'll buy your ticket.. first class. first thing in the morning. what do you say?' Chad again saying desperately. DJ smiled '..What? you'd go through all that trouble just for me?' DJ said. 'Yes. I will. money is no object. just come I'll promise to make everything better, if its bad.' Chad quickly responded. 'Chad I guess so. If you please..' DJ said. Jumping around the room. 'Okay I'll call tomorrow..be ready..okay?' Chad asked. 'Yes Mr. Danforth. talk to you later!' DJ exclaimed. Then in an instant they both hang up the phone with excitement. DJ quickly ran to his dresser and got his things ready while, Chad went out to go shopping, and let his maid clean his big mess.


To be continued..