Unworthy

Silently we enter the room. There is nobody else but us.

You turn towards me and as you do you let your robe slip from your shoulders and fall to the floor. The flickering candlelight turns your flawless skin into pure gold. The blue pools of your eyes bore into my soul, watching me as I take in the sight of you.

As I reach out my hand and playfully run a light finger along your slender form, journeying from your hip, along a perfectly muscled chest to your ethereal face, I don’t mind trembling at the sensation.

I feel not like a king when I am with you Hephaestion, but rather a pilgrim that has wondered far and has finally found his temple of worship. Travel worn and thick with dirt. Unworthy of admittance into the temple that his heart desires.

Yet you Hephaestion invited me in and take my trembling hand in yours and lift it to your lips to kiss it gently. You have blessed me with your grace and now your beauty shines so bright it is almost hard to look at you. Who am I to deserve this God next to me. Who am I to deserve the wonder that you are.

Look at my hands they are rough and callous from many battles. My body is covered with scars that go deep beneath my flesh. These hands that touch you are stained with the blood of many, these arms that hold you are strong enough to win any war, but too clumsy to hold anything as precious as you.

Surely you must realise that you are mistaken. That you have admitted a wonderer along the edge of night into your holy temple of light.

Can you see Hephaestion that I am not worthy of the bliss your embrace bestows upon me.

You step closer and closer until there is no light between us, just bare skin on bare skin. You move in for the kill, kissing me with all the fire and passion that I have come to love you for. Your tongue slides effortlessly along my lips, tempting them to part and as they do your tongue forces its way in almost as if it were an intruder breaking down a door.

Breathlessly I run my hand down your perfect form until I find what I want. You do not stop me as I slowly stroke your hardened cock. You push yourself hard against me, willing me to take you without words. As if you can read my thoughts you kneel down before me offering yourself. How can I resist you?

Gently I push myself into you, savouring the feel of your flesh around mine. You groan and worried that I hurt you I hesitate for a moment. You assure me that it is alright and I give myself up to you Hephaestion. I thrust deeper and deeper into you not wanting to stop until I have relieved myself of the load I feel I have carried for you for so long. Our bodies have merged and become one, I am so swept up in the moment that I am slightly startled when your cry of ecstasy suddenly shatters the silence of the room. Your flesh tightens and you tremble under the sensation as you reach your climax. I slowly withdraw from you saving my own pleasure while you bask in the aftermath of your own.

When you turn to me, your brow glistening with sweat, you look more beautiful to me than ever. Your complexion gives away your guilty secret, your cheeks are flushed and your lips full, your pulse is racing.

Without a word you return the favour, taking me roughly in your hand at first and then so delicately in your mouth. I cannot see through the pleasure of it all and I close my eyes and put my head back enjoying my moment.

You instinctively know when I am close as you draw back for a moment before pushing me to my knees and ravishing me from behind. It is more than I can bear and I let myself loose control to you, unashamedly calling your name and I reach my peak.

We lay together in our nakedness on the bed, a bond stronger than anything I have ever known binds us.

I dare not look at you scared of what you might read in my eyes. Never have I felt such perfect happiness or deeper despair than in this moment.

I close my eyes and the memory of sweet ecstasy hits me like an arrow in the dark. Your clear eyes veiled by passion, the soft curve of your lips, parted slightly so that you could breathe my name.

Without a word you silently call to me and my eye lids flutter open unable to resist. Our eyes meet and you hold my gaze, will not let me escape. A slight worry is in your expression, mirrored in the fathomless pools of your blue eyes.

“What troubles you Alexander?”

Slowly I raise my hand to caress the soft skin of your face.

My fingers entangle in the fluid of your hair, I pull you in close and kiss you long and deep. A shiver runs over me as you lean into the kiss, giving yourself completely to me.

I will gladly give you my heart, even if in the end it tears me apart. You see strength in me that I do not see.

I lay in your arms, dreamy from the aftermath of our lovemaking.

“What will become of us Hephaestion? “

You smooth the hair back from my face and kiss me lightly.

“Only the Gods know that.” You whisper as you kiss me again.

“If you should die in battle tomorrow, I….” I stammer as the threat of tears chokes me. “I could not be without you Hephaestion.”

“Or I without you…” you wipe a tear from my cheek with your thumb. “But let us not think of such things. If tonight is all we have together Alexander then let us not waste it.”

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Cassander