Eyes

Hey guys, this is the first time I’ve tried my hand at an American Beauty fanfic so please be supportive and not to harsh, reviews would be lovely but no flames please. I’m thinking of writing a few more of these if it goes ok so let me know what you think.


Jane POV

He’s kind of cute.

OK Cute probably isn’t the right word. Creepy, yes. But also charismatic. Something about the eyes, even when I don’t want to look at him I feel drawn to those eyes because I can drown there happily amongst all the beauty he’s seen, far away from this world.

I watch the video. And suddenly there’s this feeling. Starting in my heart and spreading throughout my body, like being full. Full of beauty. I’m not saying I’m beautiful. I’m just saying I can feel all the beauty there is in the world and it overwhelms me as it does Ricky. Silently I slip my hand into his and pull him back from the day he is reliving, the day of that little bag that seemed so inconsequential to all those who saw it except one man, Ricky.

He seems startled, his eyes lose the glazed over expression they held as he watched the vidnow now they’re focussed on out fingers entwined. He looks up and I feel my eyes struggle not to turn away at the shocking intensity of his stare.

And then suddenly its magnetism, it’s taking a chance it’s beauty as I lean over and not so much kiss him rather just touch my lips to his. He doesn’t respond. But he doesn’t move away. He seems to just relish the feeling as I do. He’s mouth is soft. Warm and I wonder what he tastes like, maybe he tastes calm. The same cool unflappable aura that surrounds him, maybe that’s how Ricky Fitts tastes. But I don’t get to find out.

“Oh My God, what time is it?”


Angela is probably pissed that I didn’t meet her to get a ride home. She’s probably more pissed because not only have I stood her up but I stood her up for Ricky. I’m sitting on the sidewalk where we watched the funeral procession, I cut my last class and just sit here waiting, hoping he’s gonna walk this way.

What is it with him? He doesn’t go out of his way to be the coolest, funniest guy, he doesn’t even really make an effort to be attractive. Yet he is. The light in his eyes contrasts with the darkness of his hair. His ill fitting clothes cover a frame that looks muscular but not overbuilt. He draws people to him. Pure charisma. Enigmatic and entrancing, n fen feel my obsession with him growing.

As I sit pondering this the drug dealer himself approaches. Suddenly the same feeling I had upon seeing the bag fills me once more. Beauty. Him.

“Hi.” He says quietly, with a small smile that suggests he knows I’ve been waiting for him but is too kind to point it out.

Wordlessly I stand and begin to walk beside him. I notice his pace drops ever so slightly allowing me to walk comfortably with my shorter legs.

I smile. Tiny considerations. When was the last time anybody cared enough about me to even notice a insignificant detail like that?

Silence as we walk. Comfortable silence.

Eventually, “My Dad quit his job.”

“Good.”

“Did you mean for that to happen?”

“I never mean for anything to happen, whatever’s gonna happen will happen eventually.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes, “You sound like Angela.”

He stops dead in the middle of the road and mock glares at me, “And I thought we were friends,” his feigned hurt makes me giggle. Never had him down as having a sense of humour, apparently there’s still an awful lot about Ricky Fitts I don’t know.

“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll never compare you to Angela again.”

“Thank you,” he smiles his first proper smile. The kind of smile that is actually half laugh and the joy shows in every millimetre of your face.

Beauty.

This time it’s his hand that finds mine, his long fingers slide between my shorter ones and curl around my fist. Perfect fit. I clasp gently back to let him know I’m happy. We don’t make eye contact.

“You should be pleased your Dad quit his job,” Ricky said quietly.

”Why?” I ask.

“Because he hated it, don’t you want him to be happy?” he looked at me as he asked the question and suddenly I felt too exposed, too naked under those searching, probing eyes.

“I guess.”

Ricky let the conversation slip back into silence. He probably knew what I was thinking. Did I want my Dad to be happy? Or was I OK with his living life as the suburbian dream, or rather nightmare just so long as it didn’t interfere with my life.

We reached his house and this time slipped upstairs to his bedroom without disturbing his catatonic mother. In his room I walk over to the window he watched me from and stand where he has stood so many times.

“Ricky?”

“Yes?”

I didn’t realise he was so close behind me. His words tickle my ear, his breath pleasantly warm against my skin.

I lean back slightly, as if playing a trust game, but he’s right there and I lean back against his firm body. “What does my life look like when you look in at it from the outside? It’s dull isn’t it? It’s totally ordinary.”

To my surprised he laughed. A low chuckle that sent vibrations purring down my body from where it tingles at my ear. “It’s not ordinary. You could never be ordinary. It looks like that to anybody else when they look at the house, but all they have to do is look in a window… and it’s unique.”

His voice is warm, lower than ever. Slowly I turn around. He doesn’t move an inch. With my back against the window we are nose to nose. Those intense eyes do not blink or look away, they watch me coolly, but I notice they have turned a shade darker, darkened by lust I guess.

I don’t have to wait. This time it’s him who kisses me. His mouth lowers gently onto mine, and this time it’s a real kiss. His lips are slightly parted and I feel the warmth of his tongue caressing my mouth to open until it can explore inside. He tastes like peace, he tastes like calm. I’m vaguely aware that one of his hands is on my lower back keeping our bodies so tightly pressed together no light is visible between us. The other hands snaked up into my hair, caressing at first until it tightens and I realise he’s gently leaning my head back, controlling the angle as he kisses me breathless. My arms have locked around his neck, and after a few minutes I realise that my hold on his necks and his arm around my back is all that’s keeping me standing as my legs don’t really feel that stable any more.

I don’t like guys much.

The guys I go to school with remind me of my parents, superficial, boring blah blah blah. I’ve never been kissed like this before, never been made to feel as if I’m having the life drawn out of me. I’ve sure as hell never fucked a guy before. Yet I know that’s exactly what I want. I know that the way to stop the ache that’s starting is to
fuck. That’s what the body does right? It gets turned onyou you fuck.

I push at Ricky. I manage to regain my footing and I lean my weight on him pushing him backwards. Willingly, still keeping us connected he walks back by wrapping both hands around my waist and easily lifting me with him. Our lips never part until we fall backwards onto his bed, him flat out beneath me, one of his long legs between mine. My forearms flat against his chest are the only part of my body that keeps us separate, he lifts a hand to my face and carefully tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. His palm cups my cheek as his fingers tenderly brush over my face.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs softly as he pulls my down to kiss him again. I’m flush against his body, my breasts flattening against his hard chest muscles as I lay on him, his arms hold me to him even closer than gravity. I lose my hands in his hair, running silky black strands between my fingers. His tongue is inside my mouth once more, tasting, probing, stroking drawing the very life, breath and soul out of my body until there’s nothing left, I exist only in him.

I pull away.

I have to.

I’m being burned by the intensity, this is the strongest feeling of any kind I’ve ever experienced.

I think of last night. Of how I stood at my window and stripped for him. Janie Burnham never usually did things like that. But one look from Ricky Fitts had her happily throwing her clothes off and flashing to the neighbourhood. What was it about him?

Slowly, feeling a little nervous though looking passive I sat up. I was very aware of how my weight rested partly on my knees places either side of his hips and partly on his body. My fingertips grasped my sweater and pulled it over my head in one fluid motion leaving me in a black bra. My face longed to burn in virginal embarrassment or nerves but it didn’t. I watched him watching me. pup pupils dilated though his expression did not change. His gaze travelled over my face down over my breasts. His hands reach out and touch my sides. They skim up and down my torso, occasionally catching the sides of my breasts and it increases the tension in my body, the longing. Those same, large sure-moving hands travel to my back and in one smooth motion both undoes the clasp of my bra and clutches me to him so that we roll over gently.

I feel less sure of myself now. More like a virgin. More vulnerable lying beneath him. His whole weight rests on one arm keeping it off my body, the other hand is on my bra. For the first time Ricky hesitates.

“You’ve never done this before.” It’s neither a question, accusation or complaint. Merely a statement.

“No,” I say forcing myself to swallow the lump of nervousness in my throat.

“Do you wanna carry on?” The blue eyes nearly burn straight through me. I search them, looking for judgement, annoyance, amusement, I find nothing except lust, concern and sincerity.

Its strange the way he asks the question. He’s so… unbiased. Neutral. There is no pressure, or preference. Its almost as if he’s helping me make a decision that wouldn’t affect him at all. But I can see what he wants. And I can feel it hard and hot against my leg. And I want it too.

“Yes.”

He peels the bra back from my skin and the coolness immediately feels good. His hand strokes the flesh softly, one fingertip swirling round my nipple, teasing it into hardness. My eyes close in pleasure and my head tilts back. He takes advantage of this and lowers his lips to my jaw. Kissing the skin there, occasionally I feel his tongue flick out to taste it. The kisses descend towards my breasts where he takes my nipple in his mouth and suckles gently. I open my eyes. His sleek, dark head is bowed to my chest, his eyes closed as his lips suck firmly and is tongue teases.

I make a small sound, it’s a high pitched keening from my throat and it’s not at all intentional. His response is to bite down eliciting a gasp from me and sending a bolt of electricity straight down to my centre.

I feel his hand at my pants, again he stops and I watch him raise his head and I can tell he’s gonna ask me if he should stop. So I interrupt by raising my hips making it clear that he’s got easy access to slid my clothes from meich ich he does smiling.

“Not fair,” I managed to whine suddenly, and the voice coming from my throat doesn’t sound like mine at all.

Ricky looks up, quirking an eyebrow questioningly. I tug at his shirt. Why should I lie here in just my panties while he’s fully dressed? With trembling fingers I undo his shirt and push it from his body. I was right, he’s surprisingly strong built, no fat just lean muscle and soft skin. As he kneels over my hips I trace my fingernails down his front, watching the skin over his stomach muscles ripple in response.

My breath catches in my throat as it comes to his belt buckle. Fumbling I manage to open it, and he helps me with his button and zipper until he remains in only his boxers. I pull him back down on top of me, relishing the feeling of his skin on mine, the weight of his body pressing my down trapping my against the mattress as his mouth claims mine once more. There’s a savageness now that I never ever could have predicted there would be with him. His mouth hungrily raids mine and I offer blindly as I grope his form holding as tightly as I can.

His hands are such a stark contrast to his mouth. The mouth that is bruising mine with passion doesn’t seem as though it could belong to the same man who’s hands gently stroke my entire body, fingertips trailing up and down my thighs. He slips his thumbs under the waistband of my underwear and pulls them off me and now I realise I’m lying completely naked in a guy’s bed. A guy who is currently taking in my naked form, exploring with his hands, memorizing with his eyes. He spreads my legs and moves between them. Somewhere along the line he’s shed himself of his boxer shorts. Against the soft skin of my inner thigh I can feel something that reminds me of steel wrapped in silk.

“Are you ok?” he asked. I opened my eyes. Ricky didn’t look preternaturally calm as usual, he looked genuinely concerned. “Do this because you want to, not because you think you should since we’ve gone this far.” He advised me.

Suddenly I wanted to cry. I wanted to curl up and cry because it hit me in the stomach that I love him. And I feel stupid for loving a guy I’ve known less than a week. But my body is on fire, I can feel my insides pulsating a begging rhythm. Wordlessly I nod. He stares for a moment longer, watching me before the smile he uses most often, the lazy knowledgeable smile graces his face. His hand grazes down my stomach to touch me finally where I’ve been longing. My chest feels tight in nerves as fingers carefully probe the place I’ve never been touched. Sliding up and down driving me mad producing small sounds from me, whimpers, pleas I never knew possible. Then one finger slips inside, one long finger strokes the nerve ending desperate for friction and my hips automatically roll up towards that talented hand.

“Ricky,” It’s the first time I’ve moaned his name and his eyes gleam darker than ever as silently he moves his hand away and I feel that hardness for the first time just touch the outer of my sex.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply.

Before I could say “huh?” he thrust inside ripping my virginity and then mercifully stilling as he let me recover. I’d always heard it was painful but it was best to get it over fast, at least he’d done that for me I thought gratefully as I lay trying to hold back sobs and gritting my teeth in pain as he stroked my hair and whispered soothing words into my ear occasionally accompanied by his warn tongue.

After a few moments he moved slightly, and instead of the pain pleasure shot through me. He lay flat against me, his skin on mine but his weight braced above me. I hooked a leg over hisk, tk, tucking into the small curve of his spine holding him closer to me. He didn’t have to go slow for long. All I could think about was the pleasure, none of my body existed except for the place he was, the nerves he touched, the walls that tightened trying to hold him inside and never let go. Sweat dripped on is, mingling on our bodies becoming one.

I was transfixed by the pleasure of it all. He moved faster, throwing himself against me where I would grasp him as if to beg him not to leave, but he did, always to return harder. We built to a crescendo until my mouth hung open in pleasure and I squeezed him so tight I didn’t think he would be able to move though he did, only to keep thrusting as I came groaning, hissing his name, scratching ten deep wounds along his back, one last time he pounded inside of me until he stilled, twitching as he collapsed.

We lay together, panting the only sound. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t thought it would be like that. It was totally different from masturbating. Hell I knew how to get myself off, I could get a buzz but that was beyond comparison. We were still joined, he slipped out of me and already a dull ache began and I winced.

“Sorry,” he said as he kissed me sweetly on the forehead. He rolled onto his back and pulled me so that I lay curled on his chest.

Although I was relaxed nervousness suddenly flooded me. How was I? Had he had better? He’d certainly known what he was doing he must’ve fucking tons of other girls better than me. Oh God did I just suck at that?

I had to ask. Oh but I couldn’t, how embarrassing! Argh, well fuck it he’s seen me naked, we’re intimate, it’ll be ok.

“Uh... Ricky?” I bit my lip.

“Mmm?” he idly stroked my hair and drew patterns on my skin.

“How was... I mean… did I… was that ok?” Right, now I was definitely blushing. Great I was a crap lay and I was ineloquent.

Ricky’s hand took my face gently and guided it to his mouth for a chaste kiss. “The brilliant blue eyes were all the existed as he replied, “It was Beautiful.”